Get Help Around the House! | Ashley Varner
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Get Help Around the House!

This post is a special request from many of the readers.

A while ago, I wrote a post that talked about delegating house chores. Many people asked me to dive deeper into that topic, so that’s exactly what I’m going to do!

It’s not just about getting help. It’s about the mental strain of thinking everything is on you. As moms, getting help from our family lets us know that we’re not in this alone. It’s a team effort.

Get Help Around the House! #GetHelpAroundTheHouse #ChristianMom

Did you know you can listen to this blog post instead of reading it? It’s true! Just click below!

Before You Ask for Help…

…let go of being a martyr.

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We can get in the habit of doing nothing but complaining when we feel overwhelmed by house chores. We think, “I have to do this because no one else will,” or, “This would never get done if I didn’t suffer through it.”

The Bible tells us to do everything without grumbling and complaining. That will get rid of the martyr mentality right away.

Get Help Around the House! #GetHelpAroundTheHouse #ChristianMom

Delegate to Family Members

Set Your Family Up to Be Able to Help

You have to do your part of the job so your family can do theirs.

For example, in order for my kids to do their part of helping with the laundry (putting their clothes away), I have to do my part and get their clothes cleaned and sorted.

When you start delegating chores to your kids, you have to make it easy and fun for them. My kids each have a basket with their name on it for their laundry.

My husband and I showed them exactly what we wanted them to do, and we told them exactly what we expect. We gauge our expectations based on their ages.

Get Help Around the House | AshleyVarner.com #helpformoms #stressedmom

Tip: Try not to redo things when your kids did their best because you don’t want to shatter their confidence.

Don’t Underestimate What Your Kids Can Do.

Your kids are capable of doing chores, and probably more than you think. Our young children empty the dish washer, wipe down counters, feed the animals, and much more.

Kids as young as three can get dressed on their own!

Set Your Family Up for Success.

When I decided to have my kids empty the dishwasher every day, I stopped putting heavy pots and knives in the dishwasher. Instead of having dishes in tall cabinets, I put them in the cabinets my kids could reach.

Making chores easier and more straight forward is going to help your kids succeed at helping you. This is going to build their self-confidence as it increases their responsibility.

Let your kids “graduate” to harder jobs as they grow older. Make them feel like it’s a promotion, and let them know you trust them.

Get Organized with Chore Charts.

Have something that your kids can mark off.

I love having a list that allows me to mark things off. Whenever I get to mark something off, I feel accomplished. It’s the same for kids. They will enjoy getting to mark chores off their list.

In addition, it will help them to remember their chores. If you tell them what to do, they might forget, but a chore chart is there to remind them.

Be Positive About the Experience (Bribery Works!)

Don’t complain about your chores as you give them to your kids. Doing so will only set them up to hate helping around the house.

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Giving our kids chores helps them to feel accomplished and capable. This is a good thing. Talk about it like it is so your kids know this isn’t a punishment.

I am not above bribery. If they get all of their chores done, I have no problem rewarding them.

Do whatever it takes to make chores a positive experience.

Find Outside Help

Getting outside help is nothing to be ashamed about.

Get Help Around the House | AshleyVarner.com #helpformoms #stressedmom

Would you be willing to give up one meal out a week to get help with your chores? Because that’s what it costs to hire help (assuming you spend at least $30 to $40 taking your family out to eat).

Decide What You Need Help With.

Do you hate laundry or cleaning?

Ask yourself, what could your time be better spent doing? For me, I am very busy at home and work. Because of this, it might be better for me to spend my leftover time with my kids rather than cleaning.

You could find a cleaning lady or maybe a mother’s helper who watches your kids when you go out. It’s okay to ask for help.

Learn to Let Go of Perfectionism.

To accept help, you have to let go of perfectionism.

The easiest way to lose helpers is to criticize their work. If you pick apart the work that your husband, children, or hired helpers do, they aren’t going to want to help you anymore.

Get Help Around the House | AshleyVarner.com #helpformoms #stressedmom

When my husband first tried to help me with combing our boys’ hair, he didn’t do a good job. I immediately re-did their hair, but my husband never wanted to help with their hair again.

Let your family help you! Your three year old will not make their bed the same way you can, but they can make their bed.

Yes, I said three years old.

Being well organized and prepared is not only a blessing to your family, but to those who come alongside us. It takes a humble heart to realize the need for help and to then ask for it. (This isn’t a sign of weakness or laziness, but strength!)

If you’re ready to stop surviving as a mom and start thriving, then make sure to check out the Thriving Moms Club! Click here for more info!