14 Jan How the 5 Love Languages Can Help Your Marriage
Are you and your husband speaking different love languages?
We’ll talk today about the 5 different love languages from Gary Chapman’s book and find practical ways you can build your marriage through them.
Learning your love language is not about you being happy.
It’s important to learn your love language, but not because it’ll make you happier. Let’s face it, God’s ultimate goal in your marriage is not you to always be happy.
Marriage is about two imperfect people coming together to do more for God than they could do on their own. To be an example to the world of His love.
It’s helpful to learn your love language and your husband’s love language so you can understand each other better and grow closer together.
The 5 Love Languages
If you want more details about each of these love languages, I would highly recommend the Thriving Mom Club, I have a video for each love language that goes in depth, but let’s talk a bit about each one today!
Love Language #1: Quality Time
Quality time is your love language if you:
- prefer taking a walk in the park with your hubby rather than get flowers
- feel frustrated when your husband’s attention is divided between you and his phone
- look forward to long drives in the car so you can spend time with your husband
Tips if your spouse’s love language is quality time:
- Avoid looking at your phone while talking to them
- Use eye to eye contact
- Don’t feel like you always have conversation in order to have quality time
To get the full video on each of the 5 love languages, join the Thriving Mom Club!
Love Language #2: Acts of Service
Acts of service is your love language if you:
- light up when you come home and dinner has already been made
- brag on your husband to your friends when he fills your car with gas without you having to ask
Tips if your spouse’s love language is acts of service:
- Creating more work for them makes them feel unloved
- Find creative ways to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on them
- Say, “Let me do that for you…” or “What can I do for you?”
Love Language #3: Gifts
Gifts is your love language if you:
- swoon when your husband brings you a pint of your favorite ice cream
- expect flowers for birthdays, Valentine’s Day, and anniversaries
Tips if your spouse’s love language is gifts:
- Don’t mistake their love language for materialism
- It’s the thought that counts
- Avoid missing birthdays or anniversaries
- Avoid giving thoughtless gifts
Love Language #4: Physical Touch
Physical touch is your love language if you:
- reach over to hold your husband’s hand while he’s driving
- like sitting on the same side of the booth instead of across the table at restaurants
Tips if your spouse’s love language is physical touch:
- It’s not just about the bedroom
- It’s about being accessible
- When they feel you close by physically, they connect emotionally
Love Language #5: Words of Affirmation
Words of Affirmation is your love language if you:
- A well written card brings tears to your eyes (while you’re still in the grocery store aisle)
- When someone compliments you, you feel on top of the world
Tips if your spouse’s love language is words of affirmation:
- Don’t just say, “I love you” say “I love you, because…
- Avoid sarcasm
- Actions don’t always speak louder than words 🙂
- Leave notes around the house or proclaim your love socially
We tend to give in the same love language that we receive
We usually GIVE love in the same language that we RECEIVE love, but that isn’t always the case.
You can image that if you’re speaking one language and your husband’s speaking another, that things could get lost in translation.
Let me explain what I mean:
My husband’s love language is acts of service. And one of my top languages is quality time.
One day, my husband came home from work and asked if I would help him clean out our shed/garage.
I was frustrated because he had been at work all day and I wanted to spend time with him. So, I told him that I had things to do in the house and went back to washing the dishes.
Now, what would have happened if I had said yes? I would have met his love language of acts of service AND my love language of quality time would have been met as well.
Give your husband some credit for his love language
Begin to see the intention behind your husband’s actions.
When your husband fills your car up with gas, give him credit for that. See the heart behind the action.
If he brings you little trinkets from a business trip he went on and you’re trying to be a minimalist, realize that his love language may be gifts.
When he’s perfectly content to hold your hand while watching TV, and you’re fuming because it doesn’t seem like the two of you are connecting, maybe his love language is physical touch.
If you want more on this topic, make sure to grab your one month free trial to the Thriving Mom Club!