Proverbs 31 Woman at Home | Ashley Varner
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The Proverbs 31 Woman at Home | AshleyVarner.com #christianmom

Proverbs 31 Woman at Home

I love reading about the Proverbs 31 Woman. I love learning from her. But it’s easy to read this chapter of Proverbs and start resenting this woman.

She’s smart and has everything together. And that seems like a huge goal for us to reach. Maybe a goal that we think we will never reach.

So if you’ve ever felt like there’s absolutely no way you can measure up to the Proverbs 31 Woman, then stick around!

Would you rather listen to this post? Click below!

There is a PDF download for this post so that you can print it off, and actually use it as a devotion.

It has questions for you, and it goes through what I’m about to share verse by verse.

Like I’ve said, I’ve always admired the Proverbs 31 Woman. How she lived her life, and especially how she handled her home life.

Was the Proverbs 31 Woman Real?

This Proverbs 31 Woman is actually a personification of wisdom.

We sometimes look at this woman and see her life as this unrealistic goal. And really, it wasn’t meant to be that way. The Proverbs 31 Woman is meant to be a picture of wisdom and not an unrealistic goal to work towards.

There are going to be times whenever you aren’t like the Proverbs 31 Woman. And that is completely okay.

So what should we do with this chapter of the Bible? We should consider what the verses mean, and how we can apply them to our time, right now, in the season of life that were in, and how we can use that to better our homes.

Proverbs 31:10

“A wife of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” Proverbs 31:10

Wisdom isn’t common.

If we want to be wise, then we cannot be like the world.

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Romans 12:22 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Because that’s how you’ll be able to test and improve what God’s will is. His good, pleasing, and perfect will.”

If we want to be these wise women, these wives of noble character, then we can’t live our lives like the world.

1 Peter 2:9 says, “You were a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession. That you may declare the praises of Him, who called you out of darkness, into His wonderful life.”

I love that verse because it just says that you’re chosen to sing His praises and to declare His Praises. Why? Because of what He’s done for you. For what He’s called you out of and what He’s called you into.

He didn’t just call you out of darkness, but He called you into His wonderful light. I love that.

The Proverbs 31 Woman at Home | AshleyVarner.com #christianmom

Proverbs 31:11

“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing in value.” Proverbs 31:11

We can be women that command confidence from our husbands. Not just with our fidelity, which is super important, but with all aspects of your home and family also.

Your husband has to have confidence in how you:

  • spend the family’s money
  • run your home
  • parent and discipline the kids

While he’s the head of the home, you are the heart of the home.

It is primarily the woman’s responsibility to take care of home and family. So, if your husband can have full confidence that you are stepping into that role, as this wise woman, you’re golden.

We want that. We want our husbands to be able to have confidence in us.

Proverbs 31:12

“She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:12

As wise women, we want to bring our husband’s good things, not harmful things. And not just now and then but throughout our entire lives.

How can we do that?

In our speech. In the things that we say. In our actions and even the food that we make.

We can be quick to forgive. We can be quick to believe the best of our husbands.

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I want to believe the best about my husband, and sometimes that’s a choice.

Well…most of the time it’s a choice.

That’s part of bringing him good and not harm.

I say that not because it’s hard, but because it has to be intentional. We can intentionally start believing that our husband’s intentions are to take care of us and our children.

Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” We can strive to be iron for our husbands.

My husband and I have been in business together for our entire marriage.

He started a business, whenever we were in high school actually, and when we got married, I came alongside him. We’ve built this business for over a decade.

And TBH, I used to feel like I was dispensable. I was the bookkeeper and the office manager, but he was really the brains of the operation. (And still is.)

Then, I realized: I’m iron for him. So we can sharpen each other.

The Proverbs 31 Woman at Home | AshleyVarner.com #christianmom

We can bounce ideas off of each other and encourage one another. Often we think of that verse as friends, but that can be a husband and wife.

As your husband’s wife, you have the ability to sharpen him, by bringing him good, and not harm, all the days of your life.

Proverbs 31:13

“She selects wool and flask and works with eager hands.” Proverbs 31:13

She works with eager hands. I love that word eager.

Eagerness means to be enthusiastic, fervent, and to work wholeheartedly. Don’t be afraid to work.

When we are eager to work, it points us in the direction of wisdom. Colossians 3:23 says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, and not for men.”

I have a quote by Abraham Lincoln hanging on our wall at home and it says, “Whatever you are, be a good one.”

The Proverbs 31 Woman at Home | AshleyVarner.com #christianmom

I really believe that we’ve kind of lost the art of work. And I say that to myself because I’ve been there.

There are many proverbs, that talk about the dangers of not wanting to work. Proverbs 13:4 says, “A sluggard’s appetite is never filled, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.”

The Proverbs 31 Woman was not afraid to work. And we can be the same. We can be diligent in what God is called us to do, which is taking care of our homes, and being in the workplaces that He’s placed us in.

As wise women, we can work, with eager hands, and not shy away from work. We can work hard and work smart.

The first place to start is to take responsibility for where you are. If you are “at the bottom of the totem pole” in your job, then look for ways you can become more valuable to your employer.

I have a friend who really reminds me of the Proverbs 31 Woman, she is constantly trying new things and finding ways to make money on the side. She sews things and sells them in her Etsy Store! Here’s a link if you love baby blankets: HinesKreations! She amazes me all the time!

Don’t be afraid to work. Figure out what God has gifted you with and then start using it!

Related: Your Passion + HIS Purpose

Proverbs 31:14-15

“She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up, while it’s still night, and she provides food for her family, and portions for her female servants.” Proverbs 31:14-15

We have to live intentional lives.

If you want to be wise, you have to be intentional in everything you do. That means, not settling for less than God’s best for your family.

With our homes. With our thinking. With the way that we spend our time. And yes, with the food we eat and feed our families.

It says, “She provides food for her family.” Our bodies and spirits are so intricately connected.

If we are filling our bodies up with healthy foods, then our spirits are going to be positively affected by that. If we are constantly feeding our families, and ourselves, junk food and hurried food, that takes a toll on our spirit.

If we are wise, we will be intentional. I’m not saying you have to get up, at two o’clock, in the morning to make breakfast for your family. But you can get up with the intention of giving your family the best that you can.

Proverbs 31:26

We’re going to jump down to verse 26.

Because verses 16 and 25, the chapter is talking about the Proverbs 31 Woman at Work and *SPOILER ALERT* I want to save those verses for my next blog post.

So since we’re talking about the Proverbs 31 Woman at Home, we’re going to skip down to the verses that I really believe speak to women at home.

“She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26

I love that. Because she’s cautious about what she says, but she still is speaking.

In order to be cautious about what you say, you have to still be speaking. She’s instructing other women. She’s finding other women to mentor. She’s finding other people to pour into.

It says, “Faithful instruction is on her tongue.” So whenever she’s speaking, she’s speaking to someone for a purpose

She’s instructing; she’s teaching.

I really believe that we need to have women above us, beside us and below us.

What do I mean by that?

We need to have women above us who can pour into our lives. Those women who are further in their walk with Christ than we are.

We also need to have women beside us. Those friends who are in the place we’re at. I talked about my friend earlier. We both have children around the same age who get along. Even our husband’s are similar to each other. We get each other. We can encourage and help one another.

The Proverbs 31 Woman at Home | AshleyVarner.com #christianmom

But as much as we need the women above us and those beside us, we also need women who are below us. Women we can mentor. Women we can pour into.

And this is important.

We don’t want our lives to be just receiving, receiving, receiving.

It’s when we are pouring out, and ministering to other people, that we experience true wisdom.

There are women around you who may be are not the place that you are, or maybe who are just starting into a journey that you’ve just come out of.

A wise woman will seek those other women out and pour into their lives.

Proverbs 31:27

“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Proverbs 31:27

Rest is necessary, but there is a definite difference between intentional rest and idleness.

Be honest, does watching TV for two hours every night really make you feel rested at the end of the day? Probably not.

I wrote a blog post about rest and finding your unique resting personality. What might be restful for you, is not restful for somebody else.

Related: The Importance of Rest Blog Post

So, don’t get me wrong, you need rest. But idleness is not the same as rest.

Being idle is wasting time. Rest, to me, is not wasting time.

Rest is intentional and purposeful. Take a minute to check out that post and take an honest look at your “rest” and see if you can swap out those hours of mindless TV for something that’s more restful!

Proverbs 31:28-29

“Her children arise and call her blessed. Her husband also and he praises her. Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Proverbs 31:28-29

The biggest thing about this verse is it tells us our WHY. The reason that we do what we do.

It’s our families, our children. This is what keeps us going, whenever motherhood gets hard. When our marriage gets hard.

The Proverbs 31 Woman at Home | AshleyVarner.com #christianmom

When life gets tough, we can come back to this and be reminded that blessing our families and leading them to the Lord is why we do what we do. And not just leading them, so that they can know the Lord, but equipping them, so that they can serve Him.

That’s what this blog is all about. It’s about equipping your children and enabling your husband, to be able to go out into the world, and do the things that God has called them to do.

Proverbs 31:30-31

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord, is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done and let her works bring her praise, at the city gate.” Proverbs 31:30-31

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel beautiful, or caring about your appearance, and about the way that you look.

But we have to know that our kids and our husbands are going to remember different qualities, long after we’ve aged, and passed. We have to focus on the qualities that will be remembered then.

Are they going to remember how you put on fake eyelashes, crooked, like me? Or, are they going to remember that you prayed with them, every night, before you went to bed? We need to focus on those qualities.

Full disclosure: That doesn’t mean that I don’t wear makeup, or that I don’t spend time getting ready, or caring about the way that I look.

In fact, I think it’s important to make sure that you are taking care of yourself.

But we have to remember that the qualities that our families are going to remember are the things that we’ve talked about here. Most importantly, that we fear the Lord. That’s what’s going to be at the forefront of their mind long after we’re gone.

I hope that this mini devotion spoke to your heart.

Like I said, make sure to download the PDF. You can go back and read this again (or better yet, listen to the podcast), and study it again verse by verse.

You can start moving towards that wise Proverbs 31 Woman.

With God’s strength, you CAN be that wise woman, for your home and for your family!

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The Proverbs 31 Woman at Home | AshleyVarner.com #christianmom
The Proverbs 31 Woman at Home | AshleyVarner.com #christianmom
The Proverbs 31 Woman at Home | AshleyVarner.com #christianmom
The Proverbs 31 Woman at Home | AshleyVarner.com #christianmom