This episode is going to be one that changes your life. Honest. Are you ready? Let’s get started!

Today I want to talk to you about negative emotions. We’re going to talk about if it’s even right for Christians to have negative emotions, how we usually handle them and the way God’s Word says to handle them. So this will be, without a doubt, an episode that changes your emotional life!

Resources Mentioned:

Ashley’s Video on Taking Thoughts Captive: https://youtu.be/kpdcM7mqplg 
The Mindset Reset: https://ashleyvarner.com/mindset
Emotions Worksheet (Free): https://ashleyvarner.com/free
Joni Erickson Tada’s Book: https://amzn.to/3dPpyNi
Unstable Emotions Episode: https://ashleyvarner.com/unstable-emotions/

Highlights from the Episode:

Should Christians Even Have Negative Emotions

I want to start off by talking about if it’s even right for Christians to have negative emotions. See, our brains have been conditioned to avoid any kind of negative emotions. And honestly, I think that believers especially can get caught up in the idea that because we’re Christians then God will never
cause us to suffer and we should never feel negative emotions.

Awhile back, I shared a video on my YouTube channel about Joni Erickson Tada. I shared that God allows difficult things to come into our lives and He’s able to use them for His glory. I had a comment by someone who completely disagreed with me. They said, “I just know that if God is a God of love, which He is, then how could He allow His children to be harmed, be to His glory” They went on to say, “Jesus Christ just wants the best for us and not any form of harm.”

Unfortunately this thinking that Christians will never experience any form of harm isn’t biblical. In fact, Jesus even said in John 16, “in this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Yes, Jesus does want the best for us and He is good and loving. But because of our limited knowledge, Jesus’s best for us may not always seem loving to us at the time. It doesn’t mean that He isn’t loving, it only means that we can fully understand His ways.

Think of it this way, you’re crossing the road with your child and a car comes speeding down the road. So you grab your child by the arm hard and pull them back onto the side walk.

Imagine the speeding car is the world. And the parent is God and we are the child. God will sometimes allow or even cause harm (for example, the pain the child feels when we pull them back onto the sidewalk) for our ultimate good. It hurts at the time, but that pain happens because He is protecting us
and loving us.

It’s also important to remember that we live in a fallen world, so it’s inevitable that we will experience negative circumstances and emotions.

In fact, in the Mindset Reset, I actually give an entire lesson on negative emotions Jesus had and how He handled them.

How We Usually Handle Negative Emotions

Because we don’t want to experience negative emotions, we end up trying to escape them through false pleasures.

A false pleasure is anything that we use to soften the blow of a negative emotion or buffer that emotion.

These are things we do to escape the emotion we don’t want to feel. Things like food, sugar, pornography, alcohol, work, social media, Netflix, blaming other people.

That’s the reason that I call them false is because they don’t actually solve the problem. In fact, escaping with false pleasures like this will only have a negative impact on you.

Let’s put an actual example to this: A situation happened at work and you are thinking about what a bad day you had. Those thoughts lead you to feel frustrated. But you don’t want to feel frustrated. So you go home, make yourself a bowl of ice cream and binge watch Netflix.

When you escape those emotions of frustration, did it make you happier? Did it take the frustration away? No, you are just less aware of it because of the escaping.

That frustrated feeling will come back because false pleasures are temporary. They don’t fix the problem, they only perpetuate a never ending cycle. Avoiding or escaping our negative emotions only stops us from fully experiencing and dealing with the real emotion that we’re feeling.

How We Should Handle Our Emotions

God gave us emotions for a reason. The Psalms are filled with songs of people who were FEELING their emotions and bringing them to the Lord.

God gave us emotions to bring us back to Him. So, I want to encourage you fully feel your emotions.

How do you do that?

Well, it’s important to realize that while thoughts are in your mind, emotions are in your body. The first thing you need to do is identify your emotion with one word. This is how we differentiate our thoughts from our emotions. If you haven’t listened to the Unstable Emotions episode, make sure to listen to
it. I also have a free emotion worksheet that gets you started with several emotions.

Once you’ve identified the emotion, then take a minute to see what it feels like in your body. Does anxiousness feel like a knot in your stomach? Does overwhelm feel like a tightening in your shoulders?

Try to take a minute to be aware of what the emotion feels like.

Last, take your emotions to the Lord.

Be willing to feel the emotion and let it draw you back to the Lord.

In Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Jesus knew that we would be burdened, so He made sure to remind us that we can come to Him with those burdens.

When you stop escaping, then you begin to get to the root of your problems and God can work in you. When you naturally begin to delight yourself in the Lord, the escaping emotions will never satisfy you.
I heard someone say, “You can’t get enough of something you don’t really want.”

Isn’t that so true?

You may be wondering, what will happen when I make the choice not to escape? Well, you’ll feel the emotion that you’re trying to cover up. That emotion gives you clues into what you’re thinking. Once you’re willing to experience any emotions, then avoiding those emotions isn’t necessary
anymore.

So your emotional eating, your over drinking, your endless hours on social media, or whatever you’re using to escape will end up dissolving because you’re actually fully experiencing your emotions and giving them to the Lord.

And that’s when He can truly change us and mold us more into the likeness of His Son, Jesus Christ.

Remember, who God wants you to be is underneath all the avoiding and escaping.