Today we’re talking about something Christian women are constantly nagged about: being confident. We aren’t talking about self-confidence, though. We are talking about confidence in Christ. 

The world tells us to be self-confident, but that only lasts as long as we don’t fail. Eventually, we will. We want to exude the type of confidence that comes from knowing who we are in Christ. 

Resources Mentioned

Walking in Confidence Bible Study: https://ashleyvarner.com/confidence 
The Mindset Reset: https://ashleyvarner.com/mindset

Highlights from the Episode

Let’s talk about what contributes to low confidence. 

Confidence comes from knowing what God says about us. We have to let go of what the world says about us to hold onto God’s view of us. Let’s look at three myths that many women believe. 

Myth #1: I am what people think I am. 

Sometimes we believe that what someone says or thinks about us is true. That’s not always the case. Usually, the people who have opinions about us don’t really know us. 

In The Mindset Reset, I talk about changing how we process other people’s opinions. When someone expresses negative opinions about you, ask yourself, “Is this person someone who I would want to be like? Is he/she the kind of person I want to be?” 

If the answer is no, then I don’t put much stock in their opinions.  

Oftentimes, these problems arise when we are trying to change something about ourselves. Other people will be resistant to the changes you are making, and for some reason, people think that someone else’s change is their business. 

Now, if someone who really knows and loves me says, “Ashley, I see the way you are changing, and I don’t think this is good for you,” I might take that into consideration and pray about it. However, if someone on social media says, “This is a stupid change,” I don’t listen to them because they don’t know me or how this change will affect me. 

I used to be negatively affected by sermons. I know, that sounds strange, but I would hear a pastor preach and feel like he was telling me specifically that I was a horrible person. Then I realized that I had to take everything I heard and put it through a filter of what God’s Word says.  

We get in a dangerous place when we believe that what someone else say’s about us is more important than what God says about us. 

We’ve got to change our mindset from believing others to believing God. If we compare what someone says about us to what God says and it doesn’t match, we have to choose to believe God. It is a choice. 

Not everyone has to like you. Not everyone has to approve of you. 

On the other hand, if the criticism does line up with God’s Word, accept it as constructive criticism (whether it was presented in love or not). 

It can be easy to reject criticism when it is spoken in an unkind and unloving way. Yet, if it lines up with God’s Word, we cannot reject it. Although it’s hard to accept harsh or rude criticism, be willing to take what someone meant for harm and use it to bring yourself closer to the Lord.  

Myth #2: I’ll never change. 

Some people believe their past will dictate their future. They say things like, “I’ll never be a morning person,” or, “I’ve always been the type of mom who yells.” 

Your past does not have to dictate your future. 

Give God the credit He deserves. He can help you make any change you need to. Look at Paul. God took him from killing Christians to spreading the message of Christ. 

Moses is another example. He thought he was disqualified because he had always struggled with stuttering, but with God, he led the Israelites out of Egypt. 

Change your mindset from thinking that your past choices determine who you are and embrace the mindset of knowing that God can help you make changes that will positively impact your future. No matter how things have been in the past, with God, you can make a positive change in the future. 

I talk a lot about renewing our minds, but why do I do that? Because it can transform our lives! Renewing your mind and changing your mindset causes a change in your life. Physical/outward change is affected by changing your mindset.  

When you think, “I’ll never change,” take that thought captive and choose to think, “With God, I can make a positive change.” When you choose positive thoughts, it will create confidence inside you that will motivate change, and when you choose to rely on God, your faith in Him will be built.  

Myth #3: I have to be perfect in order to be effective. 

We get in the habit of thinking that success is all or nothing. 

In the past few months, I’ve been making positive changes towards eating healthy and moving my body. One of the things I had to realize was that I didn’t have to be perfect to see results. 

Before, I thought that the second I messed up my diet with an unhealthy snack or skipped my workout routine, the entire process was over. 

We don’t have to be perfect. One off day will not derail our entire journey. We can still be effective after a momentary setback. 

If you focus on perfectly reaching the destination (the end results), you miss out on the journey. You might think that everything will be better once you lose weight, get a better house, obtain a better job, etc. Yet, that works against your confidence by telling you that you can’t be happy or confident until you reach your goal, and that discourages you from feeling like you’ll ever get there. 

Make sure that you take the time to enjoy the journey and learn from the process. The journey is where you change your mindset, feelings, and actions, resulting in a changed outcome. 

Take a look at your daily thoughts.  

Do your thoughts about you line up with God’s thoughts about you? That’s what this is all about. If your thoughts don’t match up with what God says, you have to choose to let them go. 

I know it’s not easy, but it is a choice. You can focus on negative thoughts or focus on what the King of Kings says about you, and your choice will make all the difference in your outlook on life.  

Our confidence isn’t based on us. It’s based on Him. 

Need More Confidence?

If you’re struggling with confidence and want to get deeper into God’s Word, let me recommend my audio Bible study, Walking in Confidence. 

There are 21 days of verses and audio to dig into what the Bible says about having confidence in Christ. There is a handy app you can download to take the study with you every day! Listen to it while you fold laundry, run errands, or drive in the car. 

Every lesson is applicable to your daily life so you can start using these Bible verses to radically change your confidence. 

Beth More said, “The Word of God can change your life, but it can also change your day.” 

The more you apply the Word of God to your life, the more joy, peace, and results you’re going to see in your life. You’re going to have more confidence and know who you are in Christ. 

I want that for you, and that’s why I’ve priced this Bible study very affordably. 

Take these busted myths and start living a more confident life! I can’t wait to talk to you next time. 

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