Do you find yourself constantly overwhelmed with all the hats you wear and all the tasks on your to do list? Then this episode is for you!

Today, I want to talk about overwhelm. We all experience it, but what I want to suggest to you is that overwhelm feeling can be changed, even if your circumstances don’t change. I’m going to give you two super practical tips and then at the end, I’m going to share the most important

Resources Mentioned:

Mindset Reset: https://ashleyvarner.com/mindset
Emotions List: https://ashleyvarner.com/free
Thoughts Matter Episode: https://ashleyvarner.com/thoughts
The Minimal Mom Video on the Silent To Do List: https://youtu.be/BtpAbdv4d98
Silent To Do List Book: https://amzn.to/3xlkV5x

Highlights from the Episode:

We’ve talked in the past about how our circumstances don’t create our feelings, go to the episode titled thoughts matter.

This practice of taking your thoughts captive is an ongoing process, there’s not going to be a day when you just have it all together. You will have to constantly work to bring your thoughts obedient to Christ.

So when you’re experiencing overwhelm, give yourself grace and remember that God is
ready and willing to help you.

The First Step is to Change Your Thinking

We know now that we don’t have to believe everything we think. And we have the choice to keep thinking the thoughts that come into our minds or discard those thoughts. Right now, you’re probably thinking something like “I’m so overwhelmed.”

Now, it may be possible for you to say that you want to think, “I’m carefree.” But if you don’t truly think that, it’s not going to bee helpful. That’s why affirmations don’t really work. We’ll talk more about affirmations and how to use them properly in a future episode, but if you don’t truly believe your
thoughts, then they won’t be useful to you.

You may not be able to get to the point were you think, “I’m carefree” but you can change your thinking to “How can I be less overwhelmed?” or even “What specifically is making me feel overwhelmed?”

Changing your thoughts into questions is actually a very valuable tool.

God wired your brain is wired to seek solutions, it’s a survival extinct. When you ask yourself a question, your brain goes in search of the answer.

So if you ask yourself, “What is causing me to be overwhelmed?” Your brain goes into overdrive to figure out what it is and then you can properly deal with it. Continuing to think, “I’m so overwhelmed” only leads to feelings of helplessness.

Practical ways to Handle Overwhelm

Your To Do List vs. Routines

I used to be a big fan of the to do list. I had an app and would put everything on there. And it helped for a lot of things. But I went overboard with it and it ended up adding to my overwhelm. I add things that were already in my daily routines like wake up, get dressed, and water the plants.

So, I want to explain that you can have a to do list, but what I really want you to go in the practice of is routines.

See routines happen without much thought. You don’t have to convince yourself to get dressed if you get dressed every morning. If you are in the habit of emptying the dishwasher every morning, then you don’t have to add it to your to do list.

So, utilize a written to do list for one time tasks or things that haven’t been firmly established on your routine, but put your focus on your daily routine.

Another thing I would recommend when you’re struggling with overwhelming feelings is to make sure to put restorative tasks into your routines. For instance, I have an hour once a week where I can sit and chat with my best friend and I value that time. It is restorative to me. I’m able to talk to another adult, someone who is willing to call me out when I need it and encourage me when I need it. It’s become part of our routine.

Limiting your overwhelm

Having a daily routine will help with the overwhelm. Because many times, the things that cause us overwhelm are those recurring, mundane tasks.

Another thing we need to consciously do is to limit our overwhelm. What do I mean by that?

Well, not only do you have a written list. But there is also the fact that everything in your home and life is silently giving you another to do list. Dishes are silently saying “wash me” even pictures on the walls are silently saying, “You haven’t dusted me in three weeks”

That is what Fumio Sasaki calls a “Silent To do List” in his book “Goodbye, Things.” He says that every single material item in your house is sending out a message. I’m going to share a video by the Minimal Mom in the show notes, she’s a Christian YouTuber and explains this concept really well.

But one super practical thing I can suggest if you are feeling overwhelmed is that It’s time to let go of some things.

There’s a quote by Francine Jay that I’ve been thinking about since I heard it. She said, “My goal is no longer to get more done, but rather to have less to do.”

This falls right in line with what we’re talking about because we usually feel overwhelmed, when we think that all the things we have to do are too much for us to handle.

But when I say have less stuff to do, I don’t mean that we stop serving and doing.

You may think that’s confusing, so let me explain. We tend to let go of obligations that we think are adding so much to our overwhelm. Things like teaching a Sunday school class or volunteering on a
committee. But what’s truly adding the most to our overwhelm are things like having too many clothes in our closet.

Think about it: Teaching a Sunday School class is a once a week task. You spend a half hour or so prepping for it and teach it for an hour. It’s not adding a lot of stress to your lift. You’re not stressing over it every morning.

Now, your clothes on the other hand are causing stress multiple times a day.

First, when you get dressed. You stress about what to wear, is it clean, is it torn, does it fit, do I have anything that matches it, when was the last time I wore it.

Then you stress again when you wash laundry. There’s piles of clothes on the chair, in the dryer, ready to be folded. Or you need a particular outfit and it’s dirty.

Then, you stress again when you have to put clothes away in drawers that
won’t close.

So you may think that giving up teaching that class (a place where you’re serving) will fix the overwhelm, but really it wasn’t adding that much to the overwhelm in the first place. Add to the fact that when you give it up without talking to the Lord first, you’ll feel convicted about it and then that conviction adds more stress to your life because you know that you’re not following His
will.

If you decide to let go of some pieces of clothing, then you will automatically see a change because you eliminate stressful thoughts that happen multiple times in your day.

If you stop and think about what is causing you to think you’re overwhelmed, then you can minimize those things in your life, and you’ll see maximum results.

I pared down my wardrobe, my kid’s wardrobes, and the kids toys. I even stored half our dishes in the pantry (since we were only using the extra ones when we had company over), and it created less stress over what to wear, less laundry to do, less toys to pick up, and less dishes to wash.

Those changes made a larger impact on me because those were things that we causing me to think that I was overwhelmed on a more consistent basis.

The Most Important Thing When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed

Remember, that you don’t have to face your overwhelm alone.

Sometimes, I think of what my life would be like without The Lord, and I don’t think about it very long, because I don’t want to know. I would be lost without Him. In fact, I don’t know how people go through life without Him.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, begin to meditate on God’s Word. I’ve done an entire episode on Christian Meditation, so make sure to listen to that, but truly, going back to God’s Word is the most important tip I can give you. So, I want to end this episode with two verses that have always spoken
to my heart when I feel overwhelmed.

Isaiah 40:31 says, “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

And in Matthew 11:28, Jesus says to us, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

I hope these practical and biblical tips helped you to begin to think about your overwhelm in a different way and take steps to overcome it. This stuff works. I can tell you that we recently had some new foster kids come into our home, and I was thinking some very overwhelming thoughts. I was able to use these exact tools and even though the children’s behavior didn’t automatically change, mine did. Even though the circumstance didn’t change, I did.

And that’s what taking your thoughts captive can do for you.

I hope you enjoyed this episode and I’ll see you next week!