There’s been a trend all over youtube about glow-ups and being “That girl.” So today, I want to share the truth about glow-ups and what it really takes to see personal growth in your life.

Resources Mentioned:

Truth Journaling Workbook: https://ashleyvarner.com/free
The Mindset Reset: https://ashleyvarner.com/mindset
Renew180 (formerly 180Confidence) Mastermind: https://ashleyvarner.com/mastermind

Highlights From the Episode

There is a trend going around on YouTube all about being that girl or even about glow-ups. And I wanted to share today some truth about glow-ups and what it really takes to see transformation in your life.

So today I want to give you the truth about glow-ups. And this really was sparked, like I said, by the trend that I’m seeing online from a lot of different influencers who talk about having a glow-up and what it took to change their image, their appearance, and their lives. And then I’ve also seen this kind of side trend about being that girl.

So what does it take to be that girl? And usually, it includes like morning routines or skincare routines, those kinds of things. And so I wanted to jump on and kind of give my take and give you kind of the truth out glow-ups.

Glow-Ups are Focused on the Wrong Thing

Glow-ups in my opinion, are focused on the wrong thing whenever it comes to transformation. Now, I am all about having that makeover and changing everything and having this transformation but something that happens with these glow-ups or those girl routines, as you watch the video, and then maybe you don’t change anything in your life. And then people start to feel like they’re a failure because they’re not doing all the things that all of these videos say to do, right?

The problem is that outside actions, take some time to commit to first. So you might see someone’s routine that they share on social media or they share on YouTube and you’re thinking, wow, this is something that they do every day. Likely it’s not an everyday routine for them but even if it is, this routine is something that took years and years to develop. There are going to be habits and routines in your life that only last for seasons.

So you might start a routine or a habit and then that part of your life, that season of your life comes to a close and you change your habits and have new habits. And so as you watch these videos, I want you to first keep in mind that it is not always reality, right?

And so I can give you my ideal morning routine. I can give you my ideal habits but I can guarantee you right now, that I have four kids in the house as I’m recording this. And my life is different from day to day. And so I can give you an ideal routine but don’t think that just because you have one day that’s off means that you have to just give up completely.

Transformation is Possible

The second area where I think that glow-ups fall short is this idea that changing an outside action will actually result in some long-term transformation. I personally believe that your results are an evidence of the thoughts that you’re thinking. And so if you want to change the results that you have in your life, or even if you want to change the actions that you’re taking in your life, you have to start with your thinking first.

So often whenever I see these videos or I see comments that are shared beneath these videos, what I see is people who, they’re trying to make those changes to their actions but they’re not changing their thinking first. And really what that does is you end up just trying to fight against your thinking. If you can change the root thoughts first, then your emotions and actions and ultimately your outcomes are going to flow naturally from your thinking.

I really believe that transformation is possible for anybody. I think that the Lord has supplied us with everything that we need in his word to know how we’re supposed to live our lives. And in Romans, there is a verse that talks about how we are transformed by the renewing of our minds.

So this isn’t just mindset work or positive thinking. This is actually from God’s word where he’s saying, if you want to transform your life, then you have to let God transform the way that you think.

Now, if you do this, and if you want to see this transformation happen in your own life, make it easier on yourself by changing the root of your actions. By changing those thoughts first, you are setting yourself up for better success.

Many years ago, I heard a coach tell her client that you either act out of love or fear. And so if you are acting out of fear of not being accepted or you’re acting out of a fear of being rejected or you’re this insecurity, and you’re making changes in your life in order to kind of alleviate that fear, maybe you are acting out of that fear. You’re never going to see long term, lasting transformation but if you come at your transformation from a place of love, whenever you have loving thoughts about yourself, about the changes that you wanna make, and ultimately, about the things that God wants you to change in your life.

Whenever you accept Christ, we are all on this journey of personal growth. All of this month, we’re talking about personal growth and goals and productivity, but ultimately it comes down to being the person that God wants you to be.

And knowing that it doesn’t just happen immediately at the drop of a hat, right. It happens gradually. As we learn, as we change, as we develop new habits what we’re doing is we’re becoming more and more like Christ with each passing day.

So if you are trying to have some kind of a glow-up and you really wanna see a transformation, there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with physical transformation.

I’ve been on a journey of physical transformation myself, but it had to start with a place of love and acceptance for who I was. It had to start with making decisions and thoughts that led to changes and emotions and actions, right?

So, as you are thinking about transformation, I really want you to change your thinking first and allow those new thoughts to bring about the emotions that are going to drive your actions naturally.

So hopefully that made sense to you. It’s a lot of words altogether, but what I’m mainly saying is that your thoughts are going to produce an emotion in your body. And that emotion is what’s going to naturally drive what decisions, what actions that you take. And so if you wanna have the kind of actions that get you results that you want.

Maybe it’s not just a personal transformation, like a physical transformation. Maybe you wanna have a financial transformation or a spiritual transformation. If you can set yourself up to have those actions naturally flow out of the thoughts and the emotions first, you are going to see much better, much natural results. It’s not gonna feel so forced because what you’re doing is you’re taking God’s word. You’re putting that into your mind. And then you’re allowing those thoughts to change your emotions. And then your emotions naturally lead towards the actions that you wanna take.

If you want a little bit more in-depth teaching on this kind of thought work, I really want to recommend that you check out the Mindset Reset. It is a six-week self-paced course that I’ve created where I break down all of the steps towards seeing real, lasting transformation. And contrary to what you might think, it has very little to do with the actions, at least it has very little at the beginning to do with the actions.

You have to start by building a foundation of good thoughts, of having a correct mindset, of taking your thoughts captive. Because whenever you do that, what happens is you begin to see that natural progression from one thing to another, your circumstances quit determining your emotions. And instead, you let your thoughts determine your emotions.

So your circumstance can stay exactly the same, and you can have a different result by the way that you interpret that circumstance. So that is all in the Mindset Reset. If you wanna check it out, you can just go to the Mindset Reset: https://ashleyvarner.com/mindset

There’s some more details in there and you can sign up immediately. Now I wanna talk to you about the value of accountability and community whenever you are working to see your transformation because it is important, the number one thing in transformation is your mindset. No doubt that is the number one thing.

If you really wanna see transformation then I want you to find a community or find an accountability partner that can walk with you on this journey. So I’ve shared multiple times, and I’ve shared with my clients that I believe that every woman needs to have someone ahead of her in her journey. So like a mentor who can help her. And then everyone needs to have someone who they can mentor, someone who is a little bit behind in their journey, maybe someone a little bit younger. But, and we usually know that, right?

We usually know that we need people above us and behind us that we can help, or that can help us. But sometimes we forget about the person next to us, about that friend that’s going on the same path that you are at the same time that you are. That friend who you can bounce ideas off of and that you can lean on whenever you need that extra support because we all are experiencing temptation, especially whenever you are trying to change habits that have been in your life or in your lifestyle for a long time, right, in your regular routines and in your habits you’re you get those temptations to kind of slide back into those old habits.

If you have an accountability partner or a friend or a community even where you can experience that, it is going to make all of the difference. And so make sure that as you are going through this process, and if you’re wanting true transformation or personal growth, that you recognize the importance of that.

What Glow-Ups are Right About

I wanted to end this video by talking about a couple of things that I think that glow-ups have gotten right. So as I watch these videos and I see these women, one thing that keeps coming back to me is the fact that they’re taking action.

So if it’s action alone, it’s not gonna be long-lasting. Sometimes I see women who get all into the mindset of things and they’ve got their vision boards and they’ve got all these ideas but they never take action on their dreams.

Okay, I want you to be the one that takes action. So to have it all correct, you need to have the mindset first but then allow that thinking to transform your life by the actions that you take. Right, and so I think about the fact that God has called each of us and designed each of us very specifically but in that design, we still have to take action. We can’t just rest on that calling or on that design. We have to take action.

One of the people that comes to mind from God’s word is Noah, he was called to build a boat but if he never took the action, if he never went and gathered all the animals, if he never and built that Ark, he wouldn’t have seen his calling come to life.

I think of Esther, she was called and destined to the palace at that specific time. But she still had to make the decision whether or not she was gonna go before the king. Your calling and your design is meant for the purpose.

And the video’s all about glow-ups and stuff. At least they’re doing some actions, right? Maybe the mindset isn’t there right away. Or maybe those actions might not be long-lasting, but if you get the mindset piece right, then you start taking action. And then you start to really see long-term, long-lasting, even eternal results in the changes that you experience.

So I’m not talking about physical changes. Mostly whenever I talk about being eternal what I mean is the person that you become in the process. So if God has called you to do something and you have grown, you have studied, you really leaned into that calling, you have made the personal growth a priority in your life, that’s going to have eternal ramifications.

Think about the people that you can help, think about the people that are in your sphere of influence that are going to be touched by you making these changes in your own life.

The last thing that I wanted to share about glow-ups and what they’ve gotten right, is this idea that transformation is going to take an effort on your part. So in my experience, transformation takes micro upgrades, which we talked about in last week’s video. So make sure to check it out. And what I share in that video is small steps that you can take to see big results but it also takes making those big, conscious commitments and saying, I’m gonna take a giant leap towards making this change in my life.

The biggest change, the biggest leap that anyone can take is accepting the Lord as their savior. Whenever you do that and you are experiencing that transformation, that’s a giant leap. You change your entire way of thinking, you change your entire life with that giant leap but as you grow in him, there become other giant leaps that he wants you to take. Maybe there’s a huge step of faith that you have to take and you have to actually live out your faith. Instead of just saying that you have faith, you’re actually living it out.

So the next time that you see a video about glow-ups or being that it girl, I really want you to remember that transformation is so much more than just an outward appearance or the number on a scale or a bank account. It’s about changing your thinking so that you can change your life. It’s about renewing your mind so that you can see the transformation and not just for you, but for God’s glory, right?

Any personal growth that we experience in our lives is gonna be for more than just us, any steps that you take towards having bigger faith or changing your life or changing your circumstances. It’s not just for you, it’s for the people around you it’s for your children, it’s for generations to come.

And the great thing about being a Christian in this mindset world, or learning how to transform in a Christian perspective is that you know it’s not just about here and now, it’s about later, it’s about God’s kingdom.

So I hope that this video helped. If you enjoyed it, make sure to let me know so I can make more videos like this, I’m here to serve you and to help you, if you want even more on this kind of topic, make sure to go to Ashleyvarner.com. There are tons of blog posts, and podcast episodes. There are also a couple of ways that you can work with me. You can check out the Mindset Reset that I mentioned earlier but I also have several Bible studies that you can download. And I have a six-month mastermind that is open right now called 180 Confidence, where I am taking women by the hands and we are experiencing true and lasting transformation over a six-month period. So if you haven’t checked that out, make sure to and I will see you next time.